Wednesday, August 19, 2009


I was reading Brides (okay, no one really reads Brides, I was looking at the pictures) when I came across a page that was about the pros and cons of having a wedding over a holiday weekend. I read them both. Unfortunately I read the con column first (the bride is selfish to think that people want to waste a 3 day weekend at your wedding, it's too inconvenient, etc. etc. etc.) then I read the pro side and it even talked about a destination wedding over a 3-day weekend (yup, that's us!) and how they weren't expecting that many people to attend anyway. This article really hit a sour note with me, and unfortunately has left it's mark.

MJ and I were never planning on having a huge wedding (our reception venue won't fit that many people anyway) but it had never really crossed my mind that the people on our list won't want to or won't be able to attend. We were planning on 75 people attending - max 100 people. But now I'm afraid that there will be lots of guests who will feel that their Memorial Day weekend will be ruined if they have to spend it in Carmel with us and our nice (read: crazy) families, and may end up RSVP'ing a "no" response. In that case, I'm a little worried that MJ and I will end up with mostly 2nd tier guests at our wedding. However, with that said maybe it's those who are willing to spend a few days in Carmel with us during a coveted 3 day weekend are those who should be the closest to us.

Okay maybe not a wedding this small but still, it will be somewhat intimate.


I know I'm not the first bride to fear that no one will come - but it's a very scary thought when you're having a destination wedding on a holiday weekend. Suddenly I'm feeling like a foolishly selfish bride.


Jennifer said...

I feel your pain. I'm starting to wonder now whether I'm being selfish to ask so many of our guests to travel so far (FI's family and many friends are in the Midwest), spend so much on hotels, flights, and rental cars. Part of me feels like I should have researched this more. Another part remembers how I couldn't imagine getting married at any of the other venues we looked at (San Jose, Carmel, Saratoga, Monterey, Los Gatos). Still another wonders whether we shouldn't be worrying about "too many" guests, but now "too few"!

I guess in the end, I'll just have to deal with the anxiety because we've put down our deposits. Arg!

Jennifer said...

BTW, I love your new background, and stole the idea from you -- thanks! =) That thecutestblogontheblock site is fun!

Anonymous said...

I went through the same thing after reading that Brides article and some wedding books that said that. We are having a Labor Day Sunday wedding. I guess when it comes down to it I feel like if people are bothered by having to miss out on their holiday weekend then they don't have to come. I know the people who love us and matter will be there no matter what. But I do feel silly too.

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